Being a Carer
One in ten of the population is a carer - Get support from family, friends and other carers
- A Carer’s Assessment will help determine your entitlement to services and support
- Adjust to your changing role
- You are not alone - ask for help
Changing Responsibilities & Adjusting Roles
Adjusting to the role of carer
If you are looking after your spouse, partner, parent, friend or other relative because of age, sickness or disability, you have taken on the role of a carer. As you probably already know, becoming a carer can mean making major changes to your life and the life of the person you are caring for. While some of these changes may bring their own rewards, others may take time to adapt to.
In becoming a carer you will be facing issues that you may not have had to deal with before. When you have been equal partners for years, it can be hard for your spouse or partner to adjust to one of you becoming a 'carer' and the other a 'dependent'. A previously independent spouse or partner may now need constant attention both physically and emotionally. You may need to deal with problems such as confusion or loss of memory, incontinence and immobility. You may have been caring for a younger person, maybe a son or a daughter for many years and are now finding it more difficult to cope.
You will also need to get used to other people's new perceptions of you. These friends and new people you meet may see you just in the role of a carer rather than the individual you always have been or as a mother, father, wife or husband. Don't be afraid to remind them that you have your own hobbies and interests! It's important that you seek help in order to continue your previous activities.
Your role is often a difficult one and it's natural at times, to feel resentment, anger or guilt. These are normal reactions to demanding circumstances, so don't be too hard on yourself. Make the most of support from family, friends and many other local organisations, and take a break when you can - even a few minutes to yourself can sometimes help.
It is often very stressful caring for someone else, however much you love them, and stress lowers your immune system, leaving you more susceptible to injury and illness. It's important that you look after yourself as well as the person you are caring for, which means eating a healthy, balanced diet and trying not to take on more than you can cope with.
If you do feel stressed or feel that your caring role is having an effect on your health you might find Looking After Me (the Expert Patient Programme for carers) helpful.
"Since my stroke, he feels more like a nurse than a husband, while I feel helpless rather than being the one in control. Even so my husband and I have a wonderful relationship – we’ve both had to adapt to our changing roles."
Making Practical Changes
Caring for someone may mean having to make some practical changes. Adaptations and improvements to the home may need to be made to make life easier for both of you. This may include simple adjustments or more major changes such as, installing a hoist over the bath, or making a home suitable for wheelchair access. In some cases, it may be necessary to think about moving to a new home, more suitable to current needs.
Lifting or handling the person you are caring for may be physically difficult for you and must be done correctly to prevent injury to yourself. The Council may be able to provide you with an Occupational Therapist, who can give you advice on the best way to do this.
The Carers Network will be able to tell you what's available in your local area.
Assistance & Benefits
You may be entitled to assistance as a carer. To find out whether this is the case the Directorate of Adult, Community and Housing Services needs to discuss with you the needs of the person you care for and what help you give that person, so that they can assess what support services they may be able to provide. This is known as a Carer's Assessment. Services can include providing home care help, providing support at local centres, finding a more suitable home for the person you care for or arranging residential care, if necessary. The assessment will also help them to see if there is any support that can be offered directly to you such as information, support groups or a payment to take a break.
You and the person you care for may also be entitled to benefits so it's important to contact the Carers Network or another agency (see page 10) who will be able to advise you.
Care Homes
If you are considering a care home you should think about the level of care needed. Some homes provide just personal care while others provide nursing care. Contact the Directorate of Adult, Community and Housing Services for information. The person you are caring for will have a say in the choice of home, but may have to pay towards the cost, depending on income and savings. Trial stays or short-term stays can be arranged.
Age Concern Dudley can provide information on finding a residential or nursing home and how these are paid for. The Nursing Home Fees Association can advise on finding a home and funding options.
Family Life
It's good to have the support of family, so try and keep in contact, even if you live long distances apart. If you do live close to your family, grandparents are often asked to babysit or care for grandchildren during the day. If this is the case, it's a good idea to set out reasonable expectations before you start, so everyone knows what is expected of them.
If you are caring for a grandchild who has a disability, you may be entitled to support services. You can also contact Dudley Carers Network for advice.
Getting Support
Carers often need support themselves, not only to help cope with the workload, but to deal with their own associated problems, such as stress and depression.
You may not label yourself a carer, but see yourself as doing your duty to look after someone. However, you may be entitled to services that can greatly improve the quality of your life and that of the person you are caring for. Do use the contact numbers in this section.
Awareness
Being a carer has its rewards, but it is also hard work. Make the most of any support offered by family, friends, social services or relevant organisations and other carers.
Action
Do not feel you have to cope alone. If you are caring for someone, you may be entitled to benefits and services provided by the Directorate of Adult, Community and Housing Services and other organisations. These will help you manage and make life easier for you and the person you are caring for.
Talk To
Talk to Dudley Carers Network who can advise you on what help you may be entitled to. They can also give you details of many groups in the area, such as the Dudley Carers Forum, where you can meet other people in the same situation.
Prevention
Looking after another person who is ill or disabled can be very stressful and can take a toll on your own health, mentally, physically and emotionally. If you feel overwhelmed, there are people you can turn to. Try to get help before you feel overwhelmed.
Web Links
- Dudley Council
www.dudley.gov.uk - Expert Patient Programme
www.expertpatients.nhs.uk (Looking After Me) - NHFA Carers Information
www.nhfa.co.uk - Carers UK
www.carersuk.org - Princess Royal Trust for Carers
www.carers.org - Government Information on Carers
www.direct.gov.uk/carers - Dudley PCT Carers Network
www.dudley.gov.uk/health-social-care/carers/dudley-carers-network
- Dudley Carers Network
carers.network@dudley.gov.uk - Directorate of Adult, Community and Housing Services
social.services@dudley.gov.uk - Crossroads
dudley@crossroads.org.uk
Contacts
- Dudley Carers Network
Telephone: 01384 818723 - Dudley Carers Forum Carers2Carers Helpline
Telephone: 01384 482980 - Directorate of Adult, Community and Housing Services
Telephone: 01384 815822 - Crossroads
Telephone: 01384 298513 - Looking After Me
Telephone: 01384 361280 - Nursing Home Fees Association (NHFA)
Telephone: 0800 99 88 33 - Carers UK
Telephone: 0808 808 7777 - Princess Royal Trust for Carers
Telephone: 020 7480 7788
